my dear B, when you died
I did not cry so much, but you don’t need
forgive me, I did
and still thank you
the few years that divided
all that misery
and our great and unforgettable friendship
I remember when you were sad
by continuous returns
to never realized hopes
“Life is like that,” I told you
without having any idea of what life was
and what happened to you
and when you fell in love
and that was inaccessible to you tell her or show it
because he never listen to you
and you taught me
to trust more in poetry than in love
today I’ll take a few heavy beers
in your memory
You knows
I have only good memories of us
and I want to thank you for having disappointed me early
about the good men and men of faith
and about yourself as well
this was your greatest proof of friendship
I remember we were looking together in books
which is not met in the streets and bars
and people had helmeted face
and dirty jokes and closed minds
like an crazy army
when things started to not give too sure
in your life
I did not know your address and your phone
or and even if you still remember me fondly
or contempt for it (I think I don’t deserve)
today I will drink white wine that I never could bear
in our memory
I need to forgive you by me
my descent and my destiny
you please to free himself from me
now that you cannot
I know that in one way or another I marked your life
the way the horses marks the abundant pasture
whales marks the forgotten water
the birds in the empty wind
and life marks the universe and history
(vainly)
because it was you that was my best memories
and no one else, when I was pure, but it wasn’t sweet
when not yet grown accustomed to lie and to lie
when I sought to know without any suspicion
when I would rather do nothing
to live the lie of others
and you helped me understand that we were always alone
despite the love and hate that they keep for us
my dear B, when you died
I was glad to hear that you did not suffer
more than myself to know that you died
today I’ll drink the same cheap cognac with which we faced the cold
in my memory
[uma versão em português deste poema está publicado em Falso Alarde]
